I Have Nothing to Say
But I’m going to say it anyway
This is my first piece in more than two months. For a while in October, I was really rolling. I chugged right into November with a full head of steam, dropping two articles in the first week and a half.
Then my mom got sick. My wife began the process of having a massive lump removed that we still aren’t sure isn’t cancer yet. The holidays arrived, and with them a full turn down Alzheimer’s Lane for my grandmother.
Oh, and I still have kids and a job that I use to feed them.
Something had to give — and that something was writing.
Did I have time to sit down and bang out pieces? Sure I did. Did I have a laptop with me to make that happen? Absolutely. Do I hate it when people ask rhetorical questions and then answer them to make a point about something? Damn right I do.
What I didn’t have was words.
Oh, that list of things I just mentioned is a treasure trove of subjects for a blogger. I didn’t write about any of them (until I mentioned them just now, that is) because, well, for one thing, I was working through them at the time. Which takes energy from my writing reserves.
Also, I didn’t feel right exploiting them individually for personal gain because, really, none of them were actually happening to me. They weren’t mine to, well, mine for subject material.
See, I don’t want to be a writer who uses this artform to whine about my life. Oh, I’ll talk about the things I’m going through and dealing with, but I want the purpose to be so that others can potentially identify with them and take something away to help them in their own journeys.
I need space from the circumstances before I air them out to the general public. I want to make sure I have done the proper work of processing stuff before running to the keyboard.
This principle keeps me honest, I feel. It ensures that I’m not just reacting in real time, which in turn keeps me from saying things that are fueled by raw emotion and a complete lack of perspective.
The bottom line is, I had things to talk about, but I didn’t have anything to say. I’m thankful that my tank was empty when the world was raging around me.
When you find yourself overwhelmed with things to the point they don’t seem like they’ll ever stop, give yourself permission to step back from things that require discretionary effort.
Handle the business of life and take care of what you can contribute to the circumstances that suck. Just don’t feel like you have to keep pouring yourself into things that don’t really matter in that very moment.
I’m a writer, and I love to do this. I just didn’t have the margin for it while in the eye of the storm these past couple of months. And that was okay.
You’ll be fine if you don’t continue to churn out word after word, I promise. Take care of the people around you. Take care of yourself. Set a proper triage and do what needs to be done.
The writing will still be here when the ship is calm again.
