This Is Why You Are Struggling Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually

Until you fix this, you can expect to suffer

Frank Vaughn
3 min readJun 30


Photo by Logan Fisher on Unsplash

You’re not feeling it lately, and it’s no wonder why. No matter how hard you try to grin, push forward, and act like everything is ok, you feel an inertia trapping you in your own head.

This emotional quicksand only sucks you in deeper the more you fight it, and you’re not sure how much more you can take.

And maybe life really isn’t so bad, but that is little consolation when you’re in your feels and your head just won’t power through to joy.

Here’s the thing, though: you really do have the power to change this. To pull yourself out of the quicksand. To take back control of how you feel from the things you’ve surrendered that to.

It really all comes down to controlling your own bandwidth, and here’s how you do that.

Learn When to Say No

You are one person with only two hands and a limited supply of energy. Ok, maybe you have a ton more energy than the average person, but it is not infinite.

Saying yes to everything spreads you thin among the various people placing demands on your life.

Unless you’re Ryan Seacrest, apparently, you can’t do everything.

You have to triage the demands others place on you, and you have to be somewhat brutal about it when you do.

I get that there are some things you just can’t say no to, but I also understand that there are many things you can pass on.

When deciding what your limit is and which things don’t fit within that limit, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Am I the right person to take this on?
  2. Do I need to do this, or is it just that someone else needs me to do it?
  3. Will I damage valuable relationships if I don’t do this?
  4. Will I damage my own wellbeing if I DO take this on?
  5. What’s the worst that can happen if I pass?

Sometimes, the most emotionally healthy and self-affirming thing you can do is just say no.



Frank Vaughn

Regional Emmy- and AP-award winning journalist and writer. Everyone’s brother.