Three Mistakes That Keep Tanking Your Relationships

Get out of that wash-rinse-repeat cycle

Frank Vaughn
5 min readMay 24


Photo by JAIME CUADRA on Unsplash

Breaking up sucks. I’ve honestly never been through one that felt good — even the ones I was eager to initiate.

You spend time, money, and both mental and emotional energy on someone, only to eventually get to a place where you know it just isn’t going to work.

Which is a little like admitting failure, right? I mean, you’d think that at your age, and with your experience, you should be able to make just one relationship work. After all, what use is all that experience if you can’t?

Well…here are three reasons you keep failing.

Reason #1: You have no idea who the other person really is

Chris Rock once joked that when you date someone, you don’t actually date them — you date their representative.

Especially in the early days of a relationship, everyone mostly puts forth their best image. And that is rarely (if ever) an accurate picture of who they really are.

Remember when you didn’t have to open the car door yourself? Pull out your own chair at the restaurant? Pick up the tab when you were out together?

Remember the compliments and careful listening back when the conversations were brand new?

Then time passes, familiarity sets in, and the personality quirks begin seeping out from behind the best-behavior facade.

Once that initial picture gets even slightly distorted, many of us either turn and run for the hills or dig our heels in, set our jaws, and vow to muddle through to the other side.

Runners, listen up. Some people are definitely flee-worthy. Especially those who bring the sugary-sweet on the front end and then quickly reveal their nasty nature when they feel they have you locked up.

And don’t get me started on gas lighters, verbal and physical abusers, addicts, pimps, and hustlers.

Definitely run and do not walk to the nearest exit with those specimens.

Heel-diggers, it’s your turn. Why are you sticking around when you feel in your bones that this isn’t working? Why let…



Frank Vaughn

Regional Emmy- and AP-award winning journalist and writer. Everyone’s brother.